Magpie 185

Painting Reincarnate

I remember socks like his
Striped socks
or maybe they were candy canes.
Colorful.
I remember hair like his
haircuts top heavy
shaved on the side.
Humble.
I remember paintings like this
putting me in my place
decisive of my soul.
Not okay.
I remember money like his
that bought me up
and cared for the beauty in front and center.
Delusional.
I remember reading like his
that skittered along the walls
pretending to appreciate and understand.
Grubby.
I remember chairs like this
ones that I could not sit in
and ones that I could not stay from
Comforting.
Yes, how comforting for a soul to never choose the fate
of a soul.
Yes, how comforting to remain in the oils forever
in the history
and the smile
and the stare.
But truly, how comforting it would be instead to never care.

The 13th of Poetry

Today being Friday the 13th and since we have been reading Poe in English, I recently found my old horror story from a middle school continuation assignment of a story we only read the first part of and it has thus provoked my desire to write creepy, dark literature. Although creepy and dark is fun, the most important part for me is to make it "thought provoking", and leave you saying it "got you thinking about things". Yes! All I want to write is something with layers that pokes at you and maybe you, the reader, can't really tell how everything is supposed to go together but that's okay because, for me, that's how it's supposed to be and how things often work in my mind. I love to bring out the dark, smokey part. But I love even more to bring out the corner of my mind with globs of supernatural ooze and demons with empty eye sockets. And then I most often bring out one of the many lines that connect all sides of my writing prompts: and I will make you think more than is easy.

I kind of started explaining too much/losing proper words there at the end so I'll go ahead and...

Part I
Dead is dead
in dens and dirt
Damned and drinking.
In drought, still drinking.
Keep on drinking.
Thus, dragging these darlings deeper down as dapper demons do
Disguised as dapper gentlemen.
Demonically drawing forth faith
devise it into solitude,
deeply.

 Part II
The dears, they sigh.
Denial displaces death
Dance the dance of darkened days
The indentured slaves don't drown today,
don't give away.
In this indentured life let difference fall
between dry spell and diphthong drawl.
Bewitch me, pinch me,
I have been discovering
you
who stands
doomed, but delaying
what dead is dead will do.

Magpie 182

I just ran a hundred miles to see you here,
excited as a child until I saw you,
face first in the electric water
All sides and angles have collided for me
and against you
Did I truly ever expect an angel with bright red chains to take the time to speak to me?
When she could look, face first into the next dimension over,
the other side of the water surface?
Her whole face is consumed by it.
What would she ever have of me?

HI! Wow!

I'm about to go on a trip of a lifetime! This Sunday (it is now Saturday), I will be getting up in time to get to the Nashville airport at 7:45 am from the hotel I'll be staying in with my family!
We're going with the Tennessee Ambassadors of Music... to Europe!! xDDDD And IT'S GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN!!!
First we'll land in England :O Then we'll go to France and other places we'll go (not in order) are Switzerland, Italy, Austria, Germany, Liechtenstein, and one other country that I can't remember (oops).

I am cringing soo much right now... I'm waiting on my brother to come downstairs to help me bathe Puppy and she smells soooo bad... Mom accidentally left an open bar of chocolate upside down over her shoe, so now her tennis shoes have chocolate in them and I'm letting Puppy eat the chocolate out because, like Mom said, we aren't getting the chocolate out of those... and I'm not sure that is helping the smell much... Ewww. (I'm about to give her a bath though.)(she's so adorable.)(i really need to remember to just breathe through my mouth.)(ayeee she really needs this trip to obedience school.)

Anyways, we will be actually singing in churches, cathedrals, and in one place outside, and other venues around Europe! And there's a band coming too (sadly for them, most [if not all] of their venues are outside *tear for them*) and will be playing all over Europe as well!

We're going to go ride the London Eye when we're in London that first night (we were going to go see Wicked, but they couldn't get tickets, and anyways, that show may pop up somewhere else along the way [just as all the other shows might: The Lion King and Les Mis], but I know I won't get to go to the London Eye for a very verryyy long time). We get to sing in John Wesley's cathedral and visit a castle in one of the countries that is very important to that country that I cannot remember the name of.
------
I have to finish packing today and there's a TON OF other stuff we get to do!
What I think would be realllyyy awesome in terms of shopping would be if I could find a thrift store hehehe. THAT would be soooo cooool :3

Well, I have to go (just came back from bathing Puppy by myself... I was talking to my brother and then he got mad and things...happened...) and finish packing and help bathe Hook because the poor dog is in major need of a bath. I love you all! I can't wait to go.

Oh, yeah, my brother got a solo in the song "Homeward Bound" that we're singing. It's a beautiful piece and I know I'm going to cry during it at some point. Dr. Zamer, our director, picked it because he's been on this trip a ton before and he knows that by day ten or so you're just about ready to go home and while you still love being on the trip, you realize at that point that you'll love to go home too. And because I've been to Europe, and have traveled, and for maybe other reasons that I don't know how to pinpoint right now, I realize (even though the director of the trip, Mr. Box, said that we don't understand it at this point) how HUGE this trip that we're going on is, how HUGE it is that we get to not only sing in countries most of us have never set foot in, but interact with the people. I realize how HUGE this world is and that I don't understand it, but I understand that there are people everywhere who can be pulled together through music (whether good or bad, really) and we are going to meet people from so many different places and backgrounds and lives than us, but we are really the same. I realize this, and I think if I said this to any other kid, they would say they get that too, but there's a huge difference inside the fine line between realizing because you know it's so and personally realizing because of the extreme loudness and incredibly closeness of a personal experience. And I know the HUGEness of coming back home that maybe isn't as huge but it's the wrapping up point to a HUGE experience, and it's very important in itself. At some point, we "I'll be homeward bound again..."... and there's other parts of the lyrics that really get at me. I'll pick it apart and show you later (maybe when I get back), but in short, it's just the fact that someone could be affected enough by someone else's wishes who misses them dearly to turn around from where they are and take the path back home. That part gets me. I didn't even sing the whole song during the concert last night (for the parents since most of them don't come on the tour..but mine are! :)) because I was about to cry. I mean, Breathe, Kitty, we're not even out of the state yet.

So, I'll be back eventually and obviously, Camp NaNoWriMo July 2013 isn't going to happen until a couple weeks in for me, but that's okay. I've got somewhere important to be.

Love,
Kitty

Quote of the Dayze

"To live is so startling, it leaves but little room for other occupations."
-Emily Dickinson, letter

Thoughts From School

Someone should make a remake of the movie One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest when Rupert Grint is in his forties and he can be McMurphy if he's not too skinny so Mac actually has red hair...
And so some justice can be done for the movie and it'll be more like the book. I would have liked the movie a lot more if a) our teacher hadn't forwarded so quickly through some of the parts and b) if it didn't change so much about the ulterior motives of Mac. 

I am a winner. I am writing a book.

Camp Nanowrimo ended a few days ago and I haven't hardly looked at my story since I put it onto a private tumblr blog for a dear follower whom I trust (for some reason haha) to not take my work and simply just read it.

As you may be able to tell by the title, I won! No, I didn't get to 50k, but I got 112 words past my goal of 10,000 and now I have a strong, concrete basis to build on for a much longer story. Yes, my dream is to publish it, and although I feel like I sound crazy or full of myself for wanting that, I'm not going to let my fear of being judged or any other fear to keep me from at least trying.

That's one good thing that comes out of being so afraid of dying: Now I want to get stuff done and live my life to the fullest and the idea that I might waste some time that I won't get back feels closer and tighter around me every time I have another panic attack.

So there you have it, folks. "The Untitled Jennifers" is bound to be a thing, and a greater, bigger thing, in fact, if I have anything to do with it. It is also bound to have a different title. XD

For this last month of the school year, I'm just focusing on the challenge of writing at least one poem every day. Yeah, I'm going to keep writing on my story, but the real every-day hard work ethic on that will have to take place after I ace every single one of my exams.

Thanks for giving my words your time here, there, or anywhere.
Love,
Kitty