AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

Oh my gosh! It's the first of March!
Oh wait.. DID I JUST MISS LEAP YEAR?!?!?! SERIOUSLY?!?!?
AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!

Playlist of the dayze. Or this very early morning.

Book of James by We Are Augustines
Mad World by Gary Jules
First Time by Lifehouse
100 Years by Five For Fighting
--
Drops of Jupiter by Train
--
Shadow Of The Day by Linkin Park [I miss this song...even when I listen to it I miss it]
Tonight I Wanna Cry by Keith Urban [kinda depressing, I know. But I love his voice. And his songs. And I do kinda feel this way..soo...]
Wait For You by Elliot Yamin [!!!!]
Paradise by Coldplay

Website of the Dayze. And other stuff...Some things are more important than a 365 day challenge

Website of the DAYZE: http://www.stop-compulsive-picking.com/

I took this quiz off an OCD website that's stationed out of LA I think??:I've taken it before. A few months ago ... I think I answered yes to more things this time.::

1  I pick skin on my face : Yes

5  I pick skin elsewhere on my body : Yes

8  I often pick my skin when I am anxious and/or depressed : Yes

9  I often pick my skin when I am bored : Yes

10  I often pick my skin when I am engaged in other activities (i e , watching TV, talking on the phone, using the computer, at a movie theatre, during class, while driving) : Yes

11  I am often not aware that I am picking my skin, and only realize it after some time has passed : Yes

12  I have noticeable scabs, sores, or scarring where I pick my skin : Yes

15  I often pick in the morning before work/school : Yes

16  I often pick at night before bed : Yes

17  Prior to, or during a skin picking episode, I often feel a sense of tension, itching, tingling, or pressure?: Yes

18  I often feel powerless to resist the urge to pick my skin : Yes

19  I get a sense of relief, gratification, and/or pleasure when I pick my skin : Yes

22  I am significantly distressed, anxious, and/or depressed about my skin picking : Yes

24  I spend this many hours a day picking at my skin : 3

25  The following are the areas of my body which I most frequently pick: Fingers, toes, heels, lips

FirstName: ----

LastName: ----

Email: ----

City: -----

State: ----

Country: United States

Csp: on

So in case you can't tell...I spend a fairly good amount of my time looking for stuff on Dermatillomania. What stinks, though, is that not much is known about it. I want people to know this exists. I know there are thousands of other diseases and disorders people are studying and need to study ..... But I need you to know. I want you to talk to your families about this. Please, anyone who comes here .. Please.

I think this is what I want to do for my gold award (girl scouts). Raise awareness. Do you think they would like that idea?

I really want to. I can't wait to share this with my school.

Magpie #103

Link to picture HERE


Death. Red blood, sharp cornered, cornered in the middle death.
Life. Red roses, hands open, reaching towards the sky death.
Happy flowers scattered 'round.
Despair of sadness sticks to the ground.
Black marble drags the drumbeat on while mockingbirds and sparrows sing sadly along.

Your hands are open. Reach towards me. Things don't have to be how the seem to be.
You don't have to mourn.
You don't have to bleed.
Listen. Listen. Listen to me.
Please.
Please listen to me. Please stay here. I beg, I beg, I beg of you, my dear.
My dear, dear friend. My dear, dear friend.
Don't be sad. Okay, you can. But don't be sad forever, man.
I know your heart is broken. I know it's shattered in two. I know I can't say much to comfort because I have a boyfriend too.
I just wish... That you could see.
I wish you could see how much you mean to me. I love all my friends, this is true.
And you are my friend. So I love you!

I know that you are broken. And the future seems unclear. I know that it may suck right now. You thought it wouldn't get here.
You thought you had a chance. Believe me, I'm sure you had some.
But this girl, this mutual friend of ours, right now she's not the one.
Right now, for you, she's not any of the ones that you may date or be with for as long as forever may take...
I'm really, really sorry. And I hope you don't stay sad.
And I have hope because I believe that things won't stay this bad.
I saw a shadow of a smile on your face!
I saw you start to grin!
I saw I saw I saw I saw ... but I'd like to see it again...

I kind of know the way you feel. For I have felt things similar too...
I know, at least, I'm scared--always--of these things going through you.
Rejection. Loss. That someone will take it away before I get the chance. I have a plan, but what if then it's ripped right out of my hands?
I rip my hands and fingers too. I rip and tear at my heels.
I rip at my toes, and before I know it, it's bleeding. This is for reals.
It's not so bad, no, nowadays. It's not as bad as it was.
But still sometimes I bleed.
And sometimes.
I need.
A friend, like you.
And sometimes I cry.
And sometimes. I feel like I've died.
And sometimes I need.
A friend, like you.
A hug from you. Or a hug given to you. Just as the case may be.

Magpie tales #102

The photo (sorry. I'm doing this on my iPad)


Angry.
Crazy.
Wild.
Frustrated.
Immensely oblivious to that which surrounds.
Except for overwhelming feelings of
hatred, but not so harsh
depression, but not so deep
happiness, but not so joyful
and calamity, but not so calm.
Rancor of sounds and noises
Rancor of colors and sights
Rancor of listeners and talkers
Rancor of claims of "love at first sight"
In a sort of a "I'm a vampire; I bite"
Sort of way.
Scared.
Anxious.
Disgusted.
Full of greed.
Crazy.
Wild.
Angry.
Scattered.
Done.

MAGPIE #100 WOOOO!!!!

La Photographía/The Photo

Oh My Gosh.
A breath.
A breath and a next breath underwater.
That's like in my dreams.
In my dreams I can breathe underwater.
I was scared at first, especially the first time.
But then I realized that it was just a dream.
And that I would be kept safe because my Creator would not let me drown.
Even in my own tears,
I would not drown.
Even outside of the dream,
and inside of the real-life, for-real life,
I realized that He would not
He will not
He never shall
let me drown.

Underwater is like my depression was.
Scary.
Pressure.
What if I am lost forever in this depth of depths of depths?
The sea goes on forever,
but I will not.
But He does.

Why couldn't Adam and Eve just stay in the freaking garden.
Why couldn't they just do what He asked?

isn't it interesting how she's already underwater but it seems like only part of her is wet?

I was really scared when I was depressed.
I was really just numb to it all.
In a pressure that was there all the time.
Depressing. Pressing in on me. Pressure.

Maybe the depressing. pressing in on me. pressure will be gone forever for me now?

I hopes so.

But in my dreams, I can breathe underwater.
And there is no pressure.
Just cool air that I squeeze from the water which surrounds me.
So I suppose there still is pressure?
But only a calm kind.

It's nice. In my dreams. It's dark. But it's light.
I just remember the dark.
But I just remember the nice.
The nice of being able to actually breathe for once.
Under Pressure.

Goodbye Depression Pressure Pressing In On Me.
Good morning Sunshine, just above the horizon and not e'en there when I wake up.
But I see you.
I see you, I tell you!
I see you in this photograph.
A million hundred thousand miles away
with a million hundred thousand things to say
and a million hundred thousand ways to explain.

And you are there, sunshine. You are always there.

Okay So OBVIOUSLY

I have obviously not done well AT ALL with keeping up with this 365 day challenge.

Seems it's just not for me.

now, don't get me wrong. I am totally finishing it.
Just not in 365 days probably -- LOL.

But issa okay. Y'all know me. I do things a little differently :))

Luv, peachz, chick grease, 3wigs. rock on fioozsh. <333