Magpie 225

Mine Is—
Me
I just want to lay lie
to the world.
A beautiful world reaching nothing,
Roses in my hand and bare skin to air.
Don't let the impressionist touch me,
too strong will the curves be to surrender.
Feet don't forget where they've been,
but I do,
and my mind wanders free of all the strife
when I lay lie
to the world.
Winds can't won't
creep up if fans lay somber beside
me.
Then,
with wind no longer the problem,
who am I?
Am I not the water splashing to the surface?
Are legs not the pillars that hold me up,
strong?
Is blood not the sash that stains my waist,
or was it?
Faces don't forget where I'm from,
but I do.

Summer Solstice Part 2

You know it's weird, right?
That the only contact I'll ever have
with you much
is over text.
And my last self will cry because
I've forgotten your voice.
And hello this self will fear
that you're just messaging
just because
and I'm your last option,
And I don't want to waste my time on that,
The Lord knows it.
So maybe you are real,
because even though telling you my world
makes the troubles even more real,
And that realness bites my face, and
slaps the tears beyond my insides,
The telling makes you as much more real
And that is one of the greatest improvements a body could get—
Is for a human to feel more in reach
To another,
And for a human to feel more real.
I need the existing humans in my life
They please me to no end
I will always love you for "kind of just because you simply exist".

Summer Solstice Part 1

The Wall And The Arm
"Let's catch up,"
said the wall to the arm.
After all this time,
wow, you've grown.
There is so much more of you
that I could possibly love.
Our elbows will hold each other in the dark room
push against and sway
and I will avoid your eyes
when you sing the songs of yesteryears
those songs of our parents
the songs where "baby" and "lovin" are
so much deeper rooted into the movement.
Each song.
And your laugh is terrifying
because it sounds forced
and like you're trying to get me to laugh
or get my attention,
but after listening to your mother's laugh,
I know it's probably because I don't actually know you all that well.
But I remember you had this white car that I loved
and I moved awkwardly when we kissed by it in the parking lot,
but you still kissed me,
still.
And you would kiss me again.
And I have a boyfriend now,
but I let my farthest corner touch your elbow and—
Lovely and—
Quiet and—
Remember me and—
I am finally here again, and
with you of all places.

June 22, 2014. 1:07 am.

ughhh it's that one day in summmerrr...

So I totally woke up at 1:30 in the afternoon today. It is now 2:12 pm. I didn't eat anything for dinner last night and I went to bed at 2.

NEVER AGAIN. this is what I used to always do ugh.... alllll summmeerrrr

And I've been super successful at NOT doing that so far. Let's not do this again, okay, Kelsey?

OKKAAYYYYYYYYY????

I don't want to waste my days away. I've been really productive, and it's been so cool!

Magpie 224

Untitled
Am I supposed to know you?
Ye, twin of mine.
With the same playbill of ages in less-than-distance's reach
on both ends
both your side and my side,
we have seen the same shows, have we not?
And our hair comes from the same birth,
and the same shapes,
and the same curls, do they not?
Then, how does the mirror have the power to take the identical identity away?
Why,
when I watch your back,
and you turn your head from mine
for so long,
does the difference between
you and I
shut the sameness away into a box.
We can look in the same direction without seeing the same things,
you know.
And in my brain,
all I see is your back
a retreating, hateful back.
And in your brain,
all you see is nothing
of me.
You never see me until my screams echo the distance between two worlds.
How am I supposed to know you?
Ye, twin of mine,
when our arguments over the same shows
clash against each other,
not like cymbals,
but like fingertips
hitting precisely where bone and skin meet skin and bone,
hitting precisely where the contact causes tingles through the hand,
hitting precisely where it is uncomfortable but not altogether a pain that scars?
And who is on whose side, anyways?
Which hand are you? Which hand am I?
Am I the one who watches your back each day or are you the one behind mine?

June 17, 2014. 3:21 pm.

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This one is about me and my brother (we are actually twins ^_^). I didn't end up using the title of the piece of art, myself, but I'm sure there's a way you could make it relate. :)
We just had an argument over the mail... -_-
All I wanted was a "yes" or "no" about whether or not he was going to get the mail but he just had to ask me a question in response....and guess what it was.... "Can you get it?"
Not even a "no, can you get it?", just a CAN YOU GET IT
For my family, our mailbox is on the left hand side and the driver usually gets it. I was in the passenger seat... He was closer. I mean, yeah, I have something coming in the mail eventually, but i am NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS MAIL AROUND HERE.

So this is pretty much supposed to be about how we are twins but we completely DON'T see eye-to-eye in a lot of situations. I got really mad at him this time. I was yelling in his face by the end of it....which I'm not proud of and will need to apologize to him later. I just don't understand why he wouldn't just give me a "yes" or "no", even after he simply explained himself. All he had to do was give me a solid answer and not the "mu" thing (which pretty much is a neutral answer to a yes/no question and means "the answer is wrong" because it's a yes/no question and there are other answers to it).

Both of us said things that we were absolutely positive the other one should be able to understand. I don't know if it's because I interact with more people during the day and he with less that we're so different in how we want to explain things... but I decided to use this prompt as a way to explore how much we are alike despite our major differences and how it is nearly impossible to tell which one is right and which one is wrong, despite my best and most emotionally fueled desires and beliefs that I was the one who was in the right and he was the one who was absolutely in the wrong. It's a scary and frustrating thing to thing about, but I think that's probably okay. One of those healthy things even though they make your stomach churn and get all up into knots.

Magpie Tales

"Not To Be Reproduced", 1937, Rene Magritte

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Love,Peace,ChickenGrease,Rock On ♥

So I'm kind of playing hooky right now...

I'm in the line at Chikfila and camp started at 9 am and now it's 10:38. If any of you have a Chikfila near you, you may know how busy it gets at certain hours... This isn't a super busy time because breakfast JUST ended, but also.. Breakfast JUST ended, so we are all the stragglers. 

At camp, we eat lunch at 11:30 and have snack at 10:30 so I could just go on and not eat anything, but I'm here to give my body some lovin' even though practice wasn't super hard. 

It's not really supposed to be super hard. The plan is to just get the feet hitting the pavement well before August so we don't have a bunch of hurting Kelseys running around (I say that because when I start after a month and a half of swimming, my ankles are really sad and weak). 

I wonder what people think about me when I'm driving or mostly when I'm sitting somewhere like here, because I turn my music up pretty high and roll both front windows down. I definitely look like I'm texting right now haha. Kind of like when people are taking vlogs in public, I guess XD. Oh well. I'm almost to the order place. Don't worry, I turn my music down when I get closer for the people around me and the person on the inside. 

I've got a good idea going in my head for magpie 224... So there's that to look forward to for you guys this afternoon. 

Have a lovely day, although I know not THAT many of you are reading this. I guess this post is kind of boring haha, but I don't care XD. It's just a shout into the void letting you know what I'm doing in response to this gravity that pulls us all in the same direction. 

Love//peace//chickengrease//and rockin please ;) -Kelsey

Listening Now: "Wasteland" and "Difference Maker" by NeedToBreathe

The lines that got my eyes to well up on the drive home....

[Wasteland] "...there is a crack in the door filled with light. And it's all that I need to get by."

[Difference Maker] just the fact of thinking about "oh, I am a difference maker. I am the only one who speaks to [H]him"

For that last one, I guess the wording in some of that song kind of hits funny because it seems like a lot of times when people say something like they're "the friendliest friends of God" their walk of faith believes in things that aren't all that friendly to a lot of more progressive thinkers ... But, like all misunderstood things should be looked at, I tried looking at it differently. I AM the only one who speaks to God for myself. 

And then, there's the whole idea about...is there anyone out there who I am the only one who hears their uttermost feelings and fears and thoughts? Maybe not (like, for me, that's not so), but you could be. You have that potential to be. 

And that gets us to the possibility of crying part for the second song... 

I know how essential of a difference maker I can be in someone else's life, but meanwhile, it seems like I can do little to be a difference maker in my own life and that's what brought me to the brink of tears. It's a good thing and a bad thing and quite a scary concept (using the American definition of "quite" here). 

Anyways I gotta go. Told brother if leave him in five minutes. It's been more. And I still need to get my bathing suit.  

Go TEAM USA!!!! (World Cup)

Love peace chicken grease and rock ok please ;)