Dear Oak Ridge Visitor, I will get the picture up in a little bit.

Dear Oak Ridge Visitor,
   I've been very curious about you for a while now. Many questions run through my head like the man who sits and thinks all day. Like that man who sits and thinks but cannot see for his eyes do not work like yours and mine, I wonder if I know those who pass by me. By some random act of chance, do I know ye who passes by my blog? By some random act of chance, does the man who sits and thinks without really sitting or thinking know those who pass by him? And what about those who come back repeatedly? Does he recognize their name, or how they speak, or the sound of the footsteps? Does he notice that they come back repeatedly and wonder why they do such a thing? Does he wonder, as I do, if he knows this person, or at least does this person know him? By some random act of chance? Maybe they weren't close, but maybe they were...in a different soul or a different life? Or maybe they knew each other in a strange dream and each one has the same exact way of being as they had in the dream. Or maybe...maybe there is something wrong with the Feedjit thingy at the bottom, and it just picks me up as the Oak Ridge visitor...Maybe there's something wrong and the man who sits and thinks without really sitting and thinking thinks he recognizes a repeated visitor when it's really just the air-conditioning turning on, or someone flushing a toilet, or his own, barely touchable, thoughts that imagine the breath and the touch and the footsteps for him. Maybe there's just something messing with our heads

....

^5/16/11

[Update: man = human. I know someone who lives there, but I was just going with whatever passed through my fingers, in this case. Maybe it will make you think. I hope so, anyways. I don't know where I was going with it, and I will tag it as unfinished, but I don't want to touch it right now. Also, I don't know what picture I was talking about. Maybe now, this can be the picture. Or maybe, someday, the finished product can be the picture. Or maybe, another day, the second take at this, a sister letter, could be the picture alongside this one.]

quote of the dayze

"My advice to you all is to make the best out of every situation that is handed to you, whether or not you made the choice to get into the situation in the first place." -– A valuable lesson learned by Answerology member, "LovingaSoldier"

^7/20/11

[Update from 2014: haha wow I always forget about Answerology. Check it out. It's pretty cool and makes a difference to some people]

Happy New Year, everybody!

It looks like I never got my blog redone, huh? I guess that will happen sometime this year! Yay!

And, yes, I'm on tumblr a lot, but it seems I'm more likely to get on here to share writing.
It doesn't get as lost here. And I've had this so long.

Anyhow, today is the last official day of Christmas break for this school year (can I hear a collective "awwwww"???), but—AND THIS IS A BIG BUTT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN—there's apparently a 100% chance of snow and something.

I think my parents are going over legal stuff right now that has to do with family?? It's a little interesting to listen to. I have no idea what it is though. I'm sitting at the black counter top with my computer next to the cookies from our small cookie party threesome and the plates are within reach although the cups are so close the green stack is almost behind my computer lid.

Dad just giggled. Something that had to do with irony, I suppose ;)

Anyways, I'm going through all my drafts on here and I'll put the dates for when they were made at the bottom haha (for the ones I didn't already carelessly open :P). There's about 18 of them! ??? I didn't realize there were that many! And the rest of them are almost all from 2011.

How awesome, right? It'll be like opening a time machine.

I love you all! Thank you for appearing/sticking around whether you've been coming to the blog all this time or not.

This Makes Me Feel Better

King was originally skeptical of many of Christianity's claims.^[8] Most striking, perhaps, was his denial of the bodily resurrection of Jesus during Sunday school at the age of thirteen. From this point, he stated, "doubts began to spring forth unrelentingly."^[9]

^{(talking about Martin Luther King Jr.)}

<sup>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Luther_King,_Jr.

^5/16/11</sup>

Deleted Scenes [Phrases] from my explication on Whitman's "Darest Thou Now O Soul"

It wasn’t hard for me to understand the deeper meaning of the poem, but it has been very hard for me to put it into words. I chose a poem about death specifically because of my fear, and I believe it succeeded in getting its point across to me by giving me a new take.

Whitman’s piece spoke directly to my soul, calming it in the face of this idea of death but to the point where I was so busy struggling with answering that I could not analyze it properly.

[update: this was a draft forever. It's being posted in 2014, but it's from 2013.]

Magpie 201

This Path Leads To A Hidden Room

It’s the road at night
Dark
Unrelenting
    in the satisfactory answers
    that shadows hold dear in their hearts.
Come, my love,
    and we shall pass over their boundaries
    that they used to guard so fervently.
And we shall hold hands in the distance
    where they cannot tell if it is possible, for the blurriness.
You, with your dress and open legs,
I with the cloth of it all reaching my ankles.
We will walk across the cobblestones
To the cobbled door
Into the cobbled room
—where the cobbles clobber you.
—Where only the shadows see what I can do.

January 5, 2014.
link to inspiration. Thank you, Tess, as always!

And It Did

What if I don't want to be "the love of your life"? ????
What if that seems way too big for where I am in my life right now?
What if it scares me away
What if I hurt you
What if I'm too sad to concentrate on my homework at all
What if I've screwed everything up too far
What if I never know how to get out and we just keep going until we break.
What if what if what if it already happened and it did