So I Totally Forgot About The Poem I Had Planned On Sharing This Morning....

Here it is.. It starts out simply for my friends, moves to my entire grade, then to everybody in my high school, and then to the entire school (I go to a K-12 school).:


Walls Don't Have To Know
I have to hold on to you
because you are real
and good
and just as tired as I am.
And when rafters are rusting,
and paint is scraping itself off the walls,
and my body feels like it's falling apart,
 a single you can be the little things
that piece me back to laughter
and through that, life.
But
there are so many of you,
so when my family goes through this wretched
divorce phenomenon
something inside me looks around
and sees a hundred walls standing at the ready,
balanced upon two hundred pairs of legs upon pairs of feet.
Five hundred walls
reach further
in case I can't hold myself up against the bubbling air.
Five hundred walls in case I can't keep moving, because
they'll keep moving.
Eventually, then, I'll have to move.
A hundred walls will push me away from the floor.
Imagine what this thousand would do.

Music SHUFFLE Survey!!! numero uno/#1

1.) Put your music player on shuffle
2.) Press forward for each question.
3.) Use the song title as the answer
to the question.
4.) NO CHEATING!!!
5.) HAVE FUN FOOZSH!!!
1.) How am I feeling today?
One Man Show by Jonas Brothers (haha this could actually work--I've found that usually you can make the song work ^_^)

2.) How will I feel getting married?
Chemicals React by Aly & AJ (oh my gosh. that TOTALLY WORKS. plus, i know how this song has worked in my life as well...good feelings... ^_^)

3.) What is my best friend's theme
song?
Shelf by Jonas Brothers (we are just full of the jobros today, aren't we??? GREAT SONG!!! I DON'T CARE IF NOBODY HERE AGREES WITH ME!!! I LOOVE THE JONAS BROTHERS!!!..yes...i know the band isn't together. WHO CARES??? THE FAMILY STILL IS!!! AND THEY'RE STILL THE JONAS BROTHERS!!!! mwhaha. haha. haha. ha. ha. ha. anywayz...i have a lot of really good friends. this could probably work for a few of them...a couple maybe? It might work for more than i think cuz [sadly--well...actually I take that back] I can't see in all of your heads. ... Yeah. Definitely a good thing. ^_^)

4.) Highschool is?
No One Mourns The Wicked by Wicked Cast (hmmm...idk how this works...ummm...if you--haha! in highschool...it seems maybe to someone ... [especially someone NOT in highschool] that if you mess up in highschool it's messed up your whole life. That could be true at least in some ways. I wouldn't know. ^_^)


5.) Middleschool is?
Dancing Through Life by Wicked Cast (geez...what's with all the repeats??? oh well, no complaining. MS is def. like this. mindless and careless ... we all wanna be. YOU ALL SHOULD TOTALLY LISTEN TO THIS SONG!!! AMAZING!!! DON'T TAKE FIYERO'S WORDS TO HEART THOUGH!!! [that's the dude singing--yeah...the one with the great voice...the one...you can just imagine him...tall...yeah whatev..to old for me...I get it. quit dreaming girl. Dream on something else. ^_^ and i am choc full of happiness today!)

6.) I am...
The Driveway by Miley Cyrus (amazing song. I am the driveway. People drive all over me. They want to go places and they run over me just to get to them. yup. that's me. does it hurt? sometimes. but not all the time. nooow...when we listen to the song...the words...now, that is ALSO me. Go find the lyrics SOMEBODY PLEASE! tell me you don't hate her. i'll thank you so deeply you'll think I'm crazy...uh...crazIER)

6.) How is today?
We Go Together by John Travolta [plus Grease cast???] (uhuh...i guess....wait...YES! I went to the movies today with Screened, Supercrazygamegeek, Leumaster, #14 [must find better codename!], #14's bro [don't have anything else..i know sad...'tis sad...'tis true. so yeah. and that was it. yupperz pupperz we all belong together, man. I swear idk what i'd do without all these ppl [plus others that didn't go...to the movie's]


7.) What is in store for this week?
Goodbyes by Savannah Outen (more goodbyes??? I just FINISHED with that! OOoohh this makes me think of 
Miss Chicky-Island [omg i bet you can tell who that is if you know me...awesome right? vague but knowing. oh yeah, man.] lol I guess this could be the week of "goodbye to some of my bad habits" and more goodbye to the things I've been working on for the past few weeks. every day is another goodbye. "why does it have to be so hard?" huh. cuz life's like that. "I just wish that everything was the same." but then we wouldn't be where we are now, would we? isn't that a scary thought? yeah, that's what I thought)

8.) What song best describes my parents?
You and Me by Lifehouse (I guess...I mean, they're with me and my bro forever. and together, of course it's hard what with Dad being a recovering drug addict [difference btwn recovering and just regular ol' druggy...once you get in recovery, you're always in recovery until you die. Then, you go to the hands of the Lord and you're okay. But until then, he will always be a recovering drug addict. Being addicted is a disease. Nothing wrong with morals. Everything wrong with the mind. With the surroundings. With the Self-Aimed Thoughts and Feelings. so yeah, want more about that? think i'm wrong. well, I'm not. But I'd be glad to talk more about it ^_^]. It's hard for all of us. [wow. i went so long that it's already on the next song...whoops... ^_^)

9.) How is my life going?
Walk Away by Martina McBride (I guess so. But this would be ME talking to MYSELF. ^_^ thx for reminding me stupid shuffle ^_^--no hard feelings when I crack my iPod's screen, right? oh...wait...I already did that....mmmkkk..uh...yeah...^_^ hahha)

10.) What song will they play at my funeral?
Streetcorner Symphony by Rob Thomas (YES!!! YES!!! YES!!!! I WANT YOU TO PLAY MR. BLUE SKY AS WELL!!!! BUT THIS!!! YES!!!! OOOH YEAH BABY!!!!! WHEN I WAS RUNNING TODAY [yes I ran...I'm Miss Fit ^_^ LOL--okay fine, I won't take it THAT far] I LOOOOVE THIS SONG...OH YEAH...MY SENTENCE...SO I WAS RUNNING TODAY AND THIS CAME ON AND I WAS LIKE...PUMPED! SO MUCH!!! "All the colors of this world will run together more than ever." SO MUCH MORE THAT I WANT TO PUT ON HERE!!! IF YOU DON'T GO LOOK AT ANY LYRICS!!! CHECK THIS OUT !!!! PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE!!! IF YOU DO!!! I WILL!!!! MAKE A STORY/POEM/SOMETHING [along those lines...give me ideas ^_^] IN YOUR HONOR!!!! LOVE YOU MUCH!!! [i already try to love you much even if I hate you...yeah...doesn't make sense, I know--but remember the Golden Rule and... Remember The Titans! and the SPARTANS!!! yeah!]

11.) Is this going to be a good year?
Driving Me Stupid by Serabee (ummm is that good or bad??? uhhh... I guess from here I might drive meself stupid... LOL ^_^ and other ppl...like mey brother...okay...yeah myself. lol.

12.) What's your love life like?
Freddy My Love by Cindy Bullens (... ... ... HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHA now THAT IS ENTERTAINMENT. does nobody get it except for me??? okay fine, okay...so my favorite character in Harry Potter...well...one of my faves anyhooz is Fred Weasley...and I have always been certain [absotootenly certain ^_^ --as certain as I am that I am about to spill part of my soul out here...and that never happens on SPLURGE PATROL...] that if I was in Harry Potter....like the story....Fred Weasley would be meant for me. ^_^ so you see how funny that is for me. yupperz pupperz extremely funny. I'VE BEEN RIGHT ALL THIS TIME!!! YESH!!! ^_^ yup...right ... and a bit crazy...just...a...bit...[crud this next song is almost done...crud]

13.) What's your favorite?
Finale by Wicked Cast [mostly Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel] (hmmm...idk ... i guess. it's good. a good finale. sooo my fave song??? i guess. I'd love to be able to sing it. But it's not my fave song. NEXT!!)

14.) Best bored activity?
Check Yes Juliet by We the Kings (ummm...check yes...uhh...surveys??? juliet...reading long books??? ...the song...dreaming. yupperz pupperz. dreaming....dreaming about all this. this is another song that came on when yours truly was running. I love to picture this! ... with the lead singer of Metro Station...maybe a little different though, cuz i don't associate this voice with him...yup I love to be IN THE SONG. love it..)

15.) Favorite quote?
Right Here, Right Now by HSM Cast: Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens (I LOOOVE THIS SOOONG!!!!!! LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!! yup...she's a little crazy for lovin' hsm sooo much...that may be so. but i love it all the same. yup. fave quote. fave song title quote ... okay...fine one of them anyhow...geez, I can't choose one! Don't hurt me, pwease. Love it. LOVE IT!. be in the moment, man. "Take time to stop and smell the roses, but make sure you don't forget where you're going." --MOI QUOTE!!!

16.) Song played in your wedding?
The Nicest Kids In Town by James Marsden (all righty then...idk how this would work...maybe my wedding is going to be really modern and bouncy. scary. haha. just imagine the uncles and aunts of YOUR family dancing to this...and YOUR DAD OH MY GOSH YOUR DAD AND YOUR BROTHER OH MY GOSH YOUR BROTHER DANCING TO THIS okay we are all scarred for life. sorry for that folks.

17.) What is your boyfriend/girlfriend/crush's (can be celeb ^_^) theme song?
Walk Away (Remember Me) Paula DeAnda (Does everything have to be sooo....true??? really??? geez thanks stupid shuffle. remember guys and girls: you have to walk away sometimes...whether from a breakup or a pointless crush or a [gasp!..yup..we are a sad sad sad excuse for a human race] celebrity crush. yupperz pupperz...learn to walk away BUT REMEMBER!!! EVERYTHING!!!)

18.) The song that best described your childhood days...
Gotta Go My Own Way by HSM Cast [it says that...but it's really just Vannessa Hudgens ppl!!! heeellloww???] "I've got to move on and be who I am. I just don't belong here. I hope you understand....might find our place in this world someday. But just for now, I gotta go my own way." YUP. so. me. I wasn't that kind of person. I guess I'm technically out of my childhood days and into my teenage years. My childhood days were about the process of finding myself. And now, my teenage years/pre-teen years is ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT AND REALIZING THAT I PROBABLY SHOULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! i love it.)

19. The song that keeps playing in your mind...
Ultimate by Lindsay Lohan (oh yeah. this has come into my head randomly before. it took me a sec to realize where it was from ^_^)

20. The song that will make me happy.
Junebug by Robert Francis (I don't know this song really well...like...at all...but I heard to the whole thing FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! today. and I wasn't even listening. So yeah, this will probably make me happy. Most songs do.


21. The future will be...
Make Some Noise by Hannah Montana (don't laugh! seriously. don't. if it'll quiet some of you down a little more, just know that there is one among us that has the Barbie Girl theme song on his/her iPod. And Miley is just fine, thank you. I love her to death. Amazing voice. But she's not perfect. As if the rest of us are! Geez. ppl.. anyhow...this is...definite thank you. I'm just starting my rolling claps of thunder and I'm just realizing that "there's nothing wrong with just being yourself" and..."you can't just sit back and watch the world change. It matters what you've got to say. There's no one else who can stand in your place. So come on it's never too late. So maybe it's your time to lift off and fly...." I'll stop there...cuz I'd keep going till the end of the song... ^_^)


22. What is your biggest dream?
Fearless by Taylor Swift. (yup. to be fearless is my biggest dream. to stand up to someone every other day. to earn your respect, whether you like it or not. To respect others as much as I respect myself. I wanna be fearless. I'm almost halfway there)


23. What is your deepest darkest secret [according to the shuffle masters!]?
Cruella De Vil (DJ Skribble Spot Remix) by Ashanti Feat. Sis Shi Shi (i guess my deepest darkest secret is that I'm really EVIL MWHAHAHAH! dang. my secret has been revealed. the world is ending. I don't even really like this song. omg! i don't like a song??? really??? i've got to be kidding!!! i know!!!! sooo weird!!! ... ... ... i really REALLY don't like this song ... ... but I bet it was fun to record. not cuz of the song. but cuz of how it sounds.


a song to end!! :: I shuffled it again until i found one that caught my eye:


La La Land by Demi Lovato


I SHALL MAKE ANOTHER ONE SOME OTHER TIME!!!

another WRITTEN...*Shred The Snowflake*

okay..so from now on...whenever anyone posts anything on WRITERS CAP...or if i do (as long as it's writing...) i will post in on here as a post...and say who it's by:

yelling and screaming
inside of my head
breaking my neck
skinning my skull
what does it take
for a girl to feel whole?
hands with these scabs
that want to peel off
try on a dress
it's no good
take it off.
staples
replacements
afraid i'll punch holes
in my skinny little fingers
afraid of the untold.
i don't like to yell
and i don't like to fight
but i'd like it if you heard me
declare what is right.
and i'd like it if you'd listen
to my undead voice
to my irquiet
my enhancement
me poke out of my shell.
and i know that some people
they'd listen to me all day
they hang on to every
single
stinking
last word that i say.
i don't want to be their life
where they think of nothing else
i don't want to be the girl
who consumes their whole world.
like a monster
like pacman
a thousand times enlarged
chewing up
and swallowing
things bigger than cars.
and 
my mind will go blank here
like the next line
still consumed
each one
one
after
another
consumed
consumed
consumed.
and i'm starting to let go
and forget what is right.
and i really don't want to
i don't want to fight.
i don't want to fight with others
but i'll fight to stay near
i'll fight to stay sane
making the right choices right here.
and i can't forget now
what i've known all this time

and i must tear up the snowflake
without a whimper or whine.
that snowflake
didn't make me
it broke me instead.
and tonight
i'm supposed to go out
not be stuck in my bed.
so that snowflake
it broke me
so now it's my turn
to say
that
I'M SORRY
it's my turn to learn

all the trouble this causes
all the choices i've made
all the things that could happen
all these things are insane
they're insane because i know better
but i've made like a fool
all these mindless decisions
just give me the right tool
you gave it to me
you gave me that anger
that disappointment
that annoyance
that "You have so let me down. You know you could've done better."
and i might get angry if i
go over there
and you
have torn up
my snowflake
it's crazy but true
because i must
by myself
shred that snowflake in half
because i must
by myself
bring around my life raft
and i must
by myself
bring me down to the ground
and i must
by myself
find the right tools to be found.

By:singkittyle000 (but i wasn't singkittyle000 back then... i was just me...and i'm still me...but i'm different as well) 12/13/09