Magpie #84. Part 3

Why?
Well, because I can.

And there's a sort of a melody.
Spinning and chasing me.
Through the darkness of darkenity.
Beneath the branches,
behind the woods,
and in the middle of them too.

And the melody,
it quickens,
and it gets to be mine enemy.
And it chases,
while I scurry to the depths of darkness past.
But then, alas,
at the very middle of my forest and my past,
I reach a churning, yearning ocean
With no understated motion
Seeing what I have been through
In this past year.
...
Or two.
Or three.

And so here comes mine melody,
mine enemy,
Still, it is still,
chasing me.

But when it reaches the sudden clearing.
Oh my gosh, why am I just standing?
There upon a rock,
When my legs are planted firm,
And my arms are open wide,
Mine melody loses pride,
And wonders.
What the heck?! and .... Why???

Well, see,
this is mine ocean
Mine water
My own life.
Mine emptiness is
nothingness...
here.
Which is good enough for me. :)

The forest all but surrounds me,
save for the everlasting sky.
So why should I keep running?
When I'm already at life?

You are just mine melody,
So I don't turn around,
I do not care
If you charge me
Into the underground.
Because I can frickin' claw my way
Back frickin' up the stairs.
And if there are not stairs?
I'll make them.
Like you care.

So here I am,
Come take me now,
You just might understand my light.
Light amongst the darkness
Light amongst the fight.
Light amongst the nothing
And Light amongst the night.
Light and night and darkness,
I admit, are used,
quite frequently,
if not too much,
but here I stand,
'head of you now
let my point be proving,
quite a bunch.

There may be a bird beside me
Or a baby one,
in the tree
Their branches reach out towards us,
Mine melody,
and me.
That's we.

So...
I don't know if it's chasing
Or if you are chasing too.
Just know that when I reach my sea,
then,
with this escapement I am through.
This escapade and danger,
And calamity being what it's not.

A ride in the wind
While standing attent-
tive
Is the best place
Ready or not?

I may not be at moot point
You mayn't even care
But here I am
Before you know
I'm shedding other layers

I didn't know
Where it would end
I didn't even care
Just saw the tiny waterfall
That brought in all that air

All that air
And water
And rock
So I could stand up strong

Watch me now
Return to this
Sadly?
No.
I think not.

Magpie #84. Part 2

It rains down on me.
As hard as it can
And amidst the stormy waters and the earth and sky, I'm soaked.
Hair plastered to my forehead,
But, surprisingly, no despair.
Because it's been there, for a while now.

When I come up the stairs, I hear you, my friends, and I can't help but let a smile take over
Because we smil for mils
Just like we accidentally said so.
That time.

But this isn't about you
Or how you make me smil
This is about me
And the rain

And I want my hair plastered to my face
I want it to rain where I can hardly see
I want it to pelt against my whole body
As I stand in my black, flowing dress
And I look to the sky

No contacts in
Give me my vision
Or give me my death
I need to see
without a problem
Or any detriment to my story

I miss my hair
I miss my hair in the rain
I miss my hair in the rain and stuck to my back.
My bare, bare back
But you can't see all of it
Because it's covered.

I don't want to be covered
by a blanket,
by a towel,
by a promise,
by a wish,
by a reason,
or by a meaning.

Just by a black, flowing dress
that I can call mine
without having to say it
And those gloves
And my bare feet.
Bare feet.

I want to grip the rock with my toes
Solidifying the notion that I am not and never going anywhere.
But here
because I don't have to.

Let me spread my arms wide
Face to the sun
But there is no sun,
And that is fine with me.
Just let me spread my arms wide
And lift up
Why?
Because I can.
Because I miss it.

I really do kinda miss it.
I miss feeling empty but all right.
I miss being able to let go of everything because nothing really mattered,
just my tears.
I miss not thinking past the next second because I was all holed up in the moment.
I miss finding my PLACE more often because I actually took the time to take the time.

And, oh my gosh, I miss the rain.
So much.
I do not miss the cold.
I miss the rain.
I miss the rain of my tears when they didn't come from being angry.
I miss the rain of my life because I was so sad and, somehow, something that wasn't there just calmed me.
I think it was life.
And I miss it.
I miss my rain.
And when the rain falls, now, I try to catch a glimpse of a dark shadow before the horizon, and it's standing there with her arms open wide and, oh my gosh, that's me.
I want to be out there.
I NEED to be out there.
Just let me breathe.
Just let me stand
here
in
the
rain
and
let
me
be.

Let me get soaked to the rim
and the brim
Let this never, never end.
And please, oh PLEASE, let me rain.