Well now that I've officially broken up with my boyfriend of eight months....
I figured I'd come here first to share the news.
Then I'll go to 2belonginthisworld
and eventually, when I have more time, I'll let my tumblr peeps know.
As if most of them knew I was dating someone in the first place, right?
Anyways, I figured it was most important to come here because this has ALWAYS been here for me.
I think I started this after my first (and middle school) heartbreak.
I'm actually kinda glad I got to be the one to officially end this.
Somehow, it seems it's left me with a little more closure.
Now, I just need to find my phone and shoot him a brief text and pointing him towards his Facebook messages for the lengthy explanations and thank yous and stuff.
Because I really appreciate all he did for me.
It was a beautiful, wonderful relationship and I adored him. I really have all this time.
He was a rock and he was the Venus that blew my mind and kept me going and came to me at the most important times.
I guess one of us just got uprooted–maybe both of us–and we drifted a little too out of reach.
[*It's Not My Time by 3 Doors down]
Anyways, that's it. I'm single. I'm a free bird again! But this time, the free bird is once again sad and there is a great weight on my wings.
After I sent him the message, I changed my relationship status from nothing listed to "single".
As I started writing the message, I made a chat for me, Lexbri, Chappers, and Sherlock.
We talked and I cried and I know they support my decision and they'll always always be there for me and I love them more than anything and I think they kind of know that. But not enough. They quite possibly will never know enough.
They'll come close, because they're just that awesome ;) but I'll make sure my love and appreciation for them will be so great that they will never, ever, fully, completely understand.
--I'll share the beautifully kind and generous words they said about me later. Right now, it's kind of late and I have to take a practice ACT tomorrow for the first 4 periods of school. Wheeeee :P
[*Real World by Matchbox Twenty]
After I changed my relationship status, I changed my profile picture to that one with my state date from XC that I was meaning to change to before I officially made up my mind anyways.
I also changed my cover photo to one of me and Lexbri that Chappers took when Sherlock came back in town and we (and a couple others, including Bisael) spent a few hours in market square
When Laure from France gets back with me, I may change my cover photo to that of me and those two lovely Frenchies. I miss them.
Oh my gosh. God, I am so blessed with these wonderful, beautiful people in my life. Whether they come and stay in my life for eight months, 10 years, 16 years, 4 years, 1 year and counting, or a few days, thank You so much for all of them. You are so Great. And You have made me so blessed and I don't know why sometimes You do these such great things for me, but I am forever, forever grateful and thankful.
And I think I'm at peace now. For now, anyways.
I'm meeting with Dr. S on Thursday. I can't wait to tell her and get a good cry out of it.
I love You, God!
Thank you for all of this and thank You for Sir Some Guy. Thank You for all the time You gave us together. I so appreciate it...
There are so many good memories of that.
and it seems that he just might always have a special place in my heart of memories.
Thank You. Goodnight. I see now a little.... How Thou Shall Have It.
I went out on a limb and I feel okay.
But still, I pray:
I still need to put this in Your hands and let go of it because I'm not done letting go yet... but here it is, Father, here are my sorrows and this relationship and I put it in Your hands now so You can have it As Thou Shall Have It.
Amen.
*Soldier by Gavin Degraw*
Thank You for being my soldier and for helping me to be a soldier, God.
Thank you, my friends... my dearest, dearest friends... for being my soldiers and helping me to be a soldier.
I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to do this as well without you any less of any of you.
I figured I'd come here first to share the news.
Then I'll go to 2belonginthisworld
and eventually, when I have more time, I'll let my tumblr peeps know.
As if most of them knew I was dating someone in the first place, right?
Anyways, I figured it was most important to come here because this has ALWAYS been here for me.
I think I started this after my first (and middle school) heartbreak.
I'm actually kinda glad I got to be the one to officially end this.
Somehow, it seems it's left me with a little more closure.
Now, I just need to find my phone and shoot him a brief text and pointing him towards his Facebook messages for the lengthy explanations and thank yous and stuff.
Because I really appreciate all he did for me.
It was a beautiful, wonderful relationship and I adored him. I really have all this time.
He was a rock and he was the Venus that blew my mind and kept me going and came to me at the most important times.
I guess one of us just got uprooted–maybe both of us–and we drifted a little too out of reach.
[*It's Not My Time by 3 Doors down]
Anyways, that's it. I'm single. I'm a free bird again! But this time, the free bird is once again sad and there is a great weight on my wings.
After I sent him the message, I changed my relationship status from nothing listed to "single".
As I started writing the message, I made a chat for me, Lexbri, Chappers, and Sherlock.
We talked and I cried and I know they support my decision and they'll always always be there for me and I love them more than anything and I think they kind of know that. But not enough. They quite possibly will never know enough.
They'll come close, because they're just that awesome ;) but I'll make sure my love and appreciation for them will be so great that they will never, ever, fully, completely understand.
--I'll share the beautifully kind and generous words they said about me later. Right now, it's kind of late and I have to take a practice ACT tomorrow for the first 4 periods of school. Wheeeee :P
[*Real World by Matchbox Twenty]
After I changed my relationship status, I changed my profile picture to that one with my state date from XC that I was meaning to change to before I officially made up my mind anyways.
I also changed my cover photo to one of me and Lexbri that Chappers took when Sherlock came back in town and we (and a couple others, including Bisael) spent a few hours in market square
When Laure from France gets back with me, I may change my cover photo to that of me and those two lovely Frenchies. I miss them.
Oh my gosh. God, I am so blessed with these wonderful, beautiful people in my life. Whether they come and stay in my life for eight months, 10 years, 16 years, 4 years, 1 year and counting, or a few days, thank You so much for all of them. You are so Great. And You have made me so blessed and I don't know why sometimes You do these such great things for me, but I am forever, forever grateful and thankful.
And I think I'm at peace now. For now, anyways.
I'm meeting with Dr. S on Thursday. I can't wait to tell her and get a good cry out of it.
I love You, God!
Thank you for all of this and thank You for Sir Some Guy. Thank You for all the time You gave us together. I so appreciate it...
There are so many good memories of that.
and it seems that he just might always have a special place in my heart of memories.
Thank You. Goodnight. I see now a little.... How Thou Shall Have It.
I went out on a limb and I feel okay.
But still, I pray:
I still need to put this in Your hands and let go of it because I'm not done letting go yet... but here it is, Father, here are my sorrows and this relationship and I put it in Your hands now so You can have it As Thou Shall Have It.
Amen.
*Soldier by Gavin Degraw*
Thank You for being my soldier and for helping me to be a soldier, God.
Thank you, my friends... my dearest, dearest friends... for being my soldiers and helping me to be a soldier.
I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to do this as well without you any less of any of you.
